Now those who've thought things through must be wondering, how can someone who's just moved and hasn't set up everything in their new house leave on a trip?
Well it is simple, if i could i wouldn't go, I really wish that there had never been this reason to go there in the first place, everyone would be happier that way. But it is necessary to take this trip and say goodbye.
The reason is because my grandfather (the dad of my dad) has a tumor and due to his old age and pace maker we cannot operate him or do anything to fix the problem without him failing during the operation, which means he is slowly and painfully dying...
I keep on telling myself that we are lucky to have the chance to say goodbye to him before he dies. I don't even want to imagine how my brother's best friend must be feeling now! His mom died of heart attack at Christmas all suddenly, and he didn't have the chance to say goodbye.
In the meantime I've known this for a few months now and i'll be frank, i'm scared.
From what i've heard is happening there my grandpa now eats on meal a day and is so much skinnier than last time i'd seen (he was very skinny to start with). And even if i personally dislike my grandma (and she personally hates me too). I really don't want to face her in these occasions (not only because she will be far more prone to throwing her anger at me like she did before, but also because I don't know how to act around her now...)
I haven't had the courage to break this to anyone, not even my best friends that i know/knew personally.
I've come close to sometimes, but it just didn't feel right, not the right moment or just wasn't appropriate. I'm not the type of person who likes to include others in my private matter
So i guess i won't be online much next week...Yes my dad has set up internet at our grandparent's house for this first time to give my grandma the chance to stay in contact with him. However I don't know if it's really good, apparently only works sometimes and bugs a lot, besides what's the point on spending time here on dA when i should be with my grandpa?
I will most likely be drawing stuff on my laptop, maybe vent (won't post that) or BPfate pages, maybe some refs and chapter writing for TBP/LFI since i'll most likely be trying to do occupy my mind next week while i spend time in Edmonton, i'll probably go to some internet cafes to reply to comments and empty my inbox, however i don't know if i'll be doing that often. Since my grandpa is much weaker than he was before we won't be able to do much with him anyway...
So I guess see you guys next Saturday!
